Thursday, October 7, 2010

How I Met My Husband and Other Zany Adventures Part 1

I never daydreamed about my perfect wedding. I thought marriage was an antiquated tradition and its main purpose throughout history was to keep women as property. Other than a tax break and other various legal issues leftover from laws that haven't caught up with the times, I sincerely believed that the whole marriage concept didn't have contemporary relevance.

Obviously, I must've been so-oo much fun to date. Maybe that's why nobody asked me out. I was honestly okay with that. I had my own life to sort, and didn't want to have to bother to sort out someone else's life too.

My husband thought along those same lines too. So, how the hell do we wind up dating for two months, decide to get married, and are still enthusiastic about being married for more than two years after the fact?

Um...

Well, it started when we met on a road trip to Arkansas, and my reluctance to be honest. He later said that he thought I was the greatest storyteller he'd ever met, and that I was also one of the most gifted liars he'd ever met.

I believe in being honest with potential friends. I have learned, however, that people hesitate to believe me when I start to tell stories about myself. So, I didn't want to own up just yet.

It's my brother-in-law's fault that I didn't get the chance.

He wasn't my brother-in-law at the time. He was still my sister's boyfriend, and I was meeting his best friend for the first time. Then, we were all going to meet my cousins two states away for a New Year's Eve party.

So, I meet my brother-in-law's bff, the man I eventually marry. That was my second thought about him, that life-altering attraction. My first thought was, 'he looks confused'. Later, I learned that was because he was still waiting for his friend's sister to arrive. He thought I was just a roommate or something because my sis and I look absolutely nothing alike.

My sister and her boyfriend piled into my backseat. I'm still not sure why I got saddled with driving from NE Kansas to NW Arkansas when they already drove over to my apartment in their own car and left it parked there. Oh well. So, they were in the back seat, I was driving, and this attractive guy was in the passenger seat.

Now what? The highway opened for us. I focused on driving because 1) it's considered rude to stare, 2) there's no natural high like buzzing along on the open road and 3) I don't want to die by distracted driving. So, I gave my attention to driving. And, what would I say anyway? "Hey, glad you like my car, yeah, just ignore the textbooks and drive-thru recepits. I didn't know I was going to drive."

In the backseat, my sister's boyfriend leaned forward. "Hey, Deb, M's got to hear about what happened on your way over to Ireland."

"Um, okay. Which time?" But, it didn't matter; I knew exactly what story he wanted me to spill.

(Dear readers, none of these stories are embellished. What is told is what happened.)

On my way to Cork

I studied abroad at University College Cork, Ireland. I don't know why I picked Ireland. Sure, I've got some Irish heritage, but not enough to transplate myself a quarter of the way around the globe. I just knew that's where I wanted to go. So, I did.

But, I had to get there first. Simple plan: Kansas City to Chicago to London to Cork. Okay, simple enough for a college budget.

First delay: sitting on the tarmac in Kansas City because Chicago is having bad weather. I cracked my knuckles. I had a tight connection to make in Chicago, but that was okay. That flight would probably be delayed too because the bad weather was happening over there.

No such luck. As soon as I get off the plane, I grabbed the nearest employee I could find. She assured me that since my original flight still takes off in 5 minutes that American Airlines had moved me on to one that takes off in 30, and here was my new boarding pass. Great. That would still give me time to catch my London to Cork connection.

So, I could relax. I purchased a cinnamon roll, an extra bottle of water and sat down to review my paperwork about my new university, housing arrangements, etc...

And then I heard my name announced over all of Chicago O'Hare, and the PA demanded that I report to my original flight to London. "This is your final boarding call."

I burped up a piece of cinnamon roll, stuffed everything in my backpack and was running before my feet hit the floor. In this run, I learned how freaking huge this airport actually was. Again, I hear my name announced. I kept running, and kept running...

Finally, out of breath, I slapped my hand up on the counter. The door to the jetway was already closed, but everyone was still there. "I'm here," I wheezed and presented my original boarding pass.

The attendant took my paperwork, glanced at it, and then just raised both her eyebrows. "Oh, you were moved to the next flight, didn't anyone tell you?"

"Then why the hell did you just call my name over the intercom!? TWICE!" ...is what I wanted to shout. Instead, I wound up just staring and probably catching flies in my open jaw.

I slept most of the way over to London. I just had to shut the world out for awhile. Once I arrived, I realized that Chicago O'Hare has got nothing on London Heathrow in the realms of huge and confusing.

Other wide eyed American students also stared up at the maps, trying to figure how to navigate the airport. For fifteen minutes, we became comrades in arms - just to get through the airport. And, just like that, we evaporated to go our separate ways.

I was still in time for my connection to Cork. I shuffled through my paperwork one last time, and discovered that I was missing my contact information for when I arrived. No phone, no address to my apartment, no contact name. Literally no clue.

When I made my mad dash in Chicago, it must have not made it back into my backpack. It was probably still sitting in the food court, covered in cinnamon bun fragments. A cold shiver ran up my spine at the same time my face lit on fire. I gulped. What was I going to do?

To make matters worse, when I presented my boarding pass for my final connection, it turned out that American Airlines had canceled my reservation to this flight completely. However, since I had my original boarding pass and obviously still needed to go, they'd let me on because they had extra seats. Go Aer Lingus. Of course, I wouldn't have the seat on the ticket and my luggage had been condemned to limbo.

I plopped my unhappy butt now in my new seat. What a great way to start this adventure. Seriously. What was I going to do when I got there?

Another woman, about my age, took the seat next to me. I ignored her thorougly. I just glared ahead at the back of the seat in front of me. After takeoff, she tried to get the last few stubborn drops out of the bottom of an empy bottle of water.

I sighed and pulled out my unopened bottle that I'd bought inside of O'Hare and offered it. No reason why both of us have to be in sour moods. She accepted it with a nervous smile and said, "Yeah, I'm just coming over here to study abroad."

"Me too." And, as it turns out, she was going to exactly the same apartment complex. Boo-ya.

**
So, back to the road trip. We were still cruising along somewhere on Highway 71 in Missouri with this really cute guy seated in the passenger seat. He shook his head and laughed, and it was the "I don't believe you, but you sure can tell a whopper laugh".

I grinned. Whew. I was glad that was over.

My sister's boyfriend, emerging from the back seat, demanded "Tell the one about the cell phone in the sand!"

Ahhhh! I don't wanna, I don't wanna! I almost shoved my hands over my ears. If M laughed at me for my "going to Cork" story, he really really wouldn't believe this one! Even if it was 100% true.

To be Continued...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Seasick Sailor

A couple of my friends and I somehow scraped together the funds to visit Ireland and catch up with some of my old friends there. We also bought train and bus tickets to go sightseeing. Obviously.

Our excursion just on the ferry to and from the Aran Islands is a definite highlight:

These islands are so remote that
1) The signs are all written in Irish (vs English or a mixture of languages as on most of the island).
2) I saw a man holding a car tire. An old car tire. Like from the late 19th century! He had to board the ferry, travel to the main island, have someone there repair the tire, and then ride the ferry back.
3) There are no railings or warning signs or anything when you explore a 3,000 year old fort built/eroded into the cliff's edge. If you fall off of the massive cliffs into the crashing ocean below, it's your own fault.
4) And no one will ever find you.

But, that's not the story. That's the background.

We three Kansas girls were determined to be out on the back part of the ferry which is open to the air and sea. We were still hanging on to the railings despite that the ocean is freezing and spitting on us. We were going to experience the ocean, damn it!

When we finally came sight of the shore, a storm popped up from nowhere. Or is it called a squall? Can I call it a squall? Or is a squall a specific type of oceanic weather disturbance? I don't get to use that word in my common lexicon! And maybe this squall wasn't from nowhere. I didn't know how to read the ocean weather. But, being from Tornado Alley, I can definitively tell you that it was not rotating.

It was, however, causing the ocean to create a valley of rolling swells. I'm not even going to try to guess how high the wind was pushing the waves, but the ferry suddenly started to remind me of a roller coaster. Slow rise up the slope, and then a quick drop. Repeat. Many times.

The few other people daring the ocean's chill out back with us quickly ducked inside. We curled our fingers around the railings and gather a good grip for this ride. Up and down. Rise and fall. The ocean's spray hissed as it drenched us all the harder.

Up and down. Rise and fall. And it felt like side to side too.

Then, the rain also attacked. We still stayed outside. After all, we're already soaked and chilled, and we were going to enjoy the ocean. Even if the ocean didn't want to play nicely. That's fine. We're not going anywhere. We could wait.

Although, as we crashed down another way, we got glimpses of a closer view than I ever would have wanted...

The next time we stared down a swell, as it continued to rise up underneath the ferry below us, my cursed and blessed imagination tried to show me what it would be like underneath the waves. The calm as compared to the chaos above...

Still, that was just landlubber prairie talk. I trusted the crew running this boat. I mean, it was their job after all. I'm sure for them, this storm was nothing. I had no idea what ferries can and cannot handle. Wouldn't they have avoided this squall if it was too much? Or did it really just appear like a bad magician's hat trick?

Shortly after thinking that, my faith was rewarded as we passed free of the storm. The rain vanished, the swells smoothed out, and the ferry glided along gently toward the shore. We finally got to experience the crisp, salty air and enjoy the ocean's majesty.

My hand had been gripping the rail so tightly that it took me a couple of seconds to unclench my white fingers. That's when one of the sailors popped his head out back, and obviously, surprised we were still there, asked, "Were ye out here the whole time?"

(Cultural note: Many people still use 'ye' for second person plural and think nothing of it, 'cause it's still proper grammar. I haven't met anyone using 'thee' and 'thou' yet though.)

We nodded.

He paused. "Are ye sure?"

Nod again.

"And ye didn't get seasick?"

Shook our heads.

Then, he grinned. It was more glassy than cheerful. "Well, I did."
I finally started to wonder...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Been awhile

I haven't blogged in awhile. I can't use the excuse that "nothing interesting happened to me". The sign of a good storyteller is able to take an everyday story that could happen to anybody and make it something people will read with excitement.

Like my ride to work. I do my best to ride my bicycle every day, with an exception for rain in the forecast. Even with a helmet, two inch an hour rain stings.  And hail, I've been caught in hail on my bike before. Yet, I still pedal the darned thing to work. Interestingly enough, it takes me 15 minutes in my car with rush hour traffic, but only 20 minutes on my bike.

It's cool in the mornings around here in early spring/late summer. Nothing a light jacket snuggling against my skin doesn't solve. It's so amazingly comfortable and needed! I can feel the kiss of the dawn's chill in passing. Of course, halfway through my ride, that same cotton film against my arm becomes twenty miles of stuffed wool while I'm trying to steer through the Gobi Desert. Obviously, it gets too warm.

So, while I'm riding along on the sidewalk... I should probably stop and explain: that is legal in the city, there are no bike paths and riding on the street is suicide by inattentive driver.

So, while I'm riding along on the sidewalk - the very lumpy, tree root infested sidewalk - I'm sweating like the Mississippi and fighting my jacket. I'm balancing with no hands, backpack wildly swing off of one shoulder while trying to get this thrice cursed, sweak soaked thing off of my other arm! I swear, this thing holds tighter than a clingy ex-boyfriend!

I free one arm. Halfway to bliss! Now, still pedaling with no hands, I transfer the backpack to my other shoulder and attempt to free my other arm from this slippery trap. Meanwhile, the sleeve that's been freed is trailing behind my seat and curls itself around the rear wheel and the chain.

Lurch! RIIIIIIIIP!

And, I walk my bicycle the rest of the way to work. Before I leave for home, I peel out pieces of that beloved jacket that always did such a good job of keeping me warm on my ride to work...

Tomorrow: repeat.