Feral Dachshund

True story.

Sadly, because I have to do that whole work for a living thing, this is one that I did not get to see in person. However, it makes me laugh every time I think about, so that indicates that it's a story worth telling.

My family deer hunts. Since we live in Kansas, this means white-tailed deer. My dad, a damned good shot, bagged himself a decent sized doe. Sweet. Only problem was that it was already dusk. He'd got it down in a creek where he couldn't get the Jeep in (at least, not if he wanted to get the Jeep back out). And, he didn't want to take the time to build a travois, because you know, that takes all of TEN MINUTES. At least, if you don't intend to use it more than once.

So, he hung it up in a tree, off the ground, and he'd come back the next morning when it was light.

This is a common mistake made by many hunters. If you see a hunter standing at a tree scratching his head this is because he left the deer out overnight and the ghosts of the forest claimed their own.

Or, it could be coyotes.

Or a feral dachshund, that most dangerous of beasts. Sure, most of them that you see look cute, furry and totally inefficient for killing anything larger than a mouse.

Oh, and he had his rottweiler buddies, who are not toying with the dachshund as food.

The next morning, upon my father's return, he witnesses that the lower half the deer was completely gone. And the perpetrators were still there, caught red-muzzled. The dachshund
leapt for one last bite. And then, the pack was gone, loping gently on long, muscular legs as if swimming over the amber waves of wheat. Yes, this is an accurate description, because you can't see the dachshund running - you just see the grass moving over its head. It doesn't spoil beauty.

LESSON:
How to spot a feral dachshund on the prairie. Well, it's kind of like finding those pesky rattlesnakes. You have to listen. But, instead of a rattle, you're listening for brush . Also, if you see the grass moving as if something short is meandering through it: WATCH OUT! It may not be a squirrel! The feral dachshund have taken many a wanderer by surprise ankle attack.

You have been warned. Cave Canem.

This is about as funny as the time that the buddies of my dad's buddy up in Wyoming - who had never deer hunted before - literally SHOT the carcass eight times after it was already dead. Simply because they didn't have a knife to let the blood drain out. And yes, apparently, they were sober.

Partner in Crime

Dakota has a new baby brother (adopted, obviously). I must say that this is not the greatest picture. He squirms a little too much to get a good photo. We're going to name him Saxon.

More WTF pictures

I don't remember where I came across this, but I noticed that Kansans apparently don't use the same calendar as everyone else. Topeka, KS. And yes, I took all these photographs myself.

Well, he wasn't trying to shoot the lock off. Nope, that's at face height. And, now, that person has permanent hearing damage. Santa Fe, NM a toilet at a lake across the parking lot from a monastery.

Apparently, Kansas City is its own nation. Washington, DC

WTF pictures

Apparently, there are many interesting things to see if you actually look at your surroundings. I also found out that my new camera phone can take a fairly decent picture. I'm still worried about the 18 and over religious sign though... I found it while walking in a mall. I don't think that's the point they were trying to make, but a parental advisory means that it's not meant for the under 18 crowd for the two things that this society "regulates". But... sex and violence are nothing new in religion.

you KNOW it's a bad day

You know it's not going to be a good day when at 5 am, it's already 80 degrees (of which at the time, I was blissfully unaware). You know it's not going to be a good day when you get a phone call at 5:30 am because your best friend's car overheated and now he needs a ride.

Turned out it was just a bad thermostat.

Sci Fi

I love science fiction. But, have you ever noticed that in TV shows and movies that the ship is shot to hell, the warp/hyper drive is offline (as it is usually the first thing to go), shields are at minimum (if they have shields), etc etc... However, the artificial gravity NEVER falters or fails. I think a system like that would be fragile, complicated and one of the first things to go offline, but apparently, that's what I get for paying attention in physics.

I'm starting to think that they don't film these things in space at all...

Bunny Part 2

There were six baby bunnies in all. Dakota was raiding the nest the next morning when we let him out, and taking them one at a time to the back of his dog house outside. So, when I got off work, I gathered all the bunnies (including finding the one from the night before on the other side of the fence). There's a local vet here that takes them in and releases them when they're old enough to care for themselves. I seriously didn't like taking them away from the mother, but the burrow was smack dab in the middle of my labrador retriever's territory. And every time he saw the mother, he ran her off.

Dakota caught a baby bunny

Here is the dog (note the crate in the background):

We let him out for the last time tonight, and when I called him to come back in I noticed he stopped and sniffed the ground intently. Fine. He's a dog. Then, I noticed that he picked something up, dropped it and picked it up again. He proceeded to dilligently trot into the house and straight into his room (aka the dog crate). It is his personal space, we just leave the crate door open at all times.

Well, I wanted to know what it was that he brought into the house and was now almost sitting on top of in the very back of his room.

It moved. "A mouse!" The dog continued to hover over the tiny creature. I looked again, and nope, it was a baby rabbit. It didn't even have its eyes open. He hadn't hurt it in any way, either. Apparently, labrador retrievers can be very gentle with their jaws. I'm guessing that he didn't want to eat it because he was very careful not to injure it, and I haven't known a dog to save a meal for later. Although, I have known them to hide their treats and bones around. So, in the end, I'm guessing I'm saying that I have no clue if he was saving the little thing for a midnight snack or if he was going to try to raise it.

Needless to say, he was excited when M lured him out of his crate with a dog treat, and then promptly upset with me when I wouldn't let him right back in. I took the baby rabbit outside and very gently pushed it through the bottom of the fence into my neighbor's in a spot where I know the rabbits squirm underneath. I didn't put it back in our yard because I know he'll remember tomorrow morning. I hope the poor thing makes it.

In other news, I loathe that wood paneling. My plan is to tear it all out, insulate the walls properly and put up drywall. Of course, where's the time to do that???

Namesake

My good friend was surfing online today looking at baby names. She's due in less than a month and they threw out the name they'd decided and were trying to come up with something else. I'm just letting her ramble while trying to get some of my work done. A sentence she said hits a button and my brain automatically hits replay.

"Irish and Klingon are very similar, at least the way I try to pronounce them."

I just thought you'd enjoy that too.

bucket o' blood

at the doctor's office this morning... new place for me, never been there before. So, I'm waiting in the little exam room and I hear this through the door:

(casual male voice): If the bucket of blood gets full, just dump it out.

My first thought: Er... how big of a bucket?
My second thought: Do these windows open at all?

No context. No followup. No further comments. Just a bucket of blood.

reminders

Today I am reminded of the story of how I thought my best friend broke my former couch. This thing was ugly as sin (orange and brown 1960s) and more durable than a battleship. We were watching TV when I heard this incredible CRACK!

It sounded like some serious wood had snapped. I waved my hand. "Don't worry about it. I got it for free anyway."

She looked over at me. "What are you talking about? I just farted."

"Oh."

Bark Park

On Valentine's Day, we took Dakota to a big bark park. That day would have been my Cocoa's 18th birthday. We met another red dachsund named Cocoa, who was young and very friendly. In the end, it made me feel better, but I still miss my Cocoa. Hell, I was seven years old when that dog was born.

I still miss you, dog!