Year: 1962
Location: Somewhere in Northern Utah
Half of the following story is fiction and half describes actual events. If you can't guess which, the answer is at the end. The names have been changed to protect my sanity (because I'm not sure I want you to know that I might possibly be related to one of these guys...).
Downstream
Mary grinned as she watched her toes in the mountain water. She wiggled them and the icy water sent a chill coursing up through her legs, up her spine, causing her heart to thump, and her head to tingle. Of course, maybe the heart pounding was really caused by Joseph sitting two feet away from her.
The wind made his long dark hair ripple in waves, while the sun shifted the color of his natural highlights. That hair framed his face so perfectly! He looked so peaceful as he trailed a long stick through the small river.
Joseph smirked, but kept watching the water. A log bumped to a stop in the small pool formed by some boulders. He frowned. It was bobbing oddly, and was that some rope? He extended the stick and rolled it over.
The stick fell from his suddenly stiff digits. "Mary, don't look over here!"
So, naturally, Mary hopped to her feet and trotted over. Also, this gave her an excuse to squeeze up next to him. Surely nothing could be--
She slapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god, what the hell is that?"
The charred corpse of a dead rattlesnake that had been tied to the log bobbed helplessly in the clear waters. A few fish swam over and took a few inquisitive nibbles.
Mary shivered. "Who could be so cruel? I know everybody hates rattlesnakes, but... who could do such a thing?" She bumped her shoulder against Joseph's chest and didn't even notice.
The lifeless eye sockets stared up at them. The log continued to swirl around in the pool and the fish got on with their meal.
Upstream, a few days prior
Rick bit his lip and trembled. He wouldn't cry. Not in front of David and Harvey. He could cry later, but seeing as how they were all roommates, he'd have to go up into the mountains by himself. He let his fingers brush against Trousers' scales. They felt as icy as the water. "Goodbye, buddy."
He stuck the match. The log, doused in gasoline and supported on either side by two attached branches, lit up against the cloudy afternoon sky. With his boot, he nudged the little Viking funeral raft into the stream. David and Harvey stepped up to the edge of the water, and they all watched the fire.
He'd been one of 18 baby rattlesnakes they'd brought back to their apartment in a pillowcase. The pick had been good that season. Of course, they could only find 17 of them when they went to put them back. For three days...
They'd finally discovered him in a pair of trousers when Harvey went to put them on. So, the snake was named. And also, 20 year old college boys couldn't resist that particular joke.
He'd never threatened a person, and lived a relaxed life of hunting down feeder rats in the apartment. What more could an animal ask for? And now, it was time to let him go.
Rick, David and Harvey drifted a little closer together as they watched their pet sail on into the afterlife.
Still in sight, they watched as one of the small supports to the funeral log burned through, and the entire contraption flipped upside down into the river. The smoke and steam were visible for just a heartbeat, and then, he was gone.
Which was real? Upstream.
Moral: Don't judge a burned, dead rattlesnake tied to a log in a river. He may have just had a Viking funeral.
Yes, that really happened.
Author's note: I really have no idea if there is a snake afterlife, but if there is a snake heaven, I bet it also doubles as furry critter hell.
Location: Somewhere in Northern Utah
Half of the following story is fiction and half describes actual events. If you can't guess which, the answer is at the end. The names have been changed to protect my sanity (because I'm not sure I want you to know that I might possibly be related to one of these guys...).
Downstream
Mary grinned as she watched her toes in the mountain water. She wiggled them and the icy water sent a chill coursing up through her legs, up her spine, causing her heart to thump, and her head to tingle. Of course, maybe the heart pounding was really caused by Joseph sitting two feet away from her.
The wind made his long dark hair ripple in waves, while the sun shifted the color of his natural highlights. That hair framed his face so perfectly! He looked so peaceful as he trailed a long stick through the small river.
Joseph smirked, but kept watching the water. A log bumped to a stop in the small pool formed by some boulders. He frowned. It was bobbing oddly, and was that some rope? He extended the stick and rolled it over.
The stick fell from his suddenly stiff digits. "Mary, don't look over here!"
So, naturally, Mary hopped to her feet and trotted over. Also, this gave her an excuse to squeeze up next to him. Surely nothing could be--
She slapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god, what the hell is that?"
The charred corpse of a dead rattlesnake that had been tied to the log bobbed helplessly in the clear waters. A few fish swam over and took a few inquisitive nibbles.
Mary shivered. "Who could be so cruel? I know everybody hates rattlesnakes, but... who could do such a thing?" She bumped her shoulder against Joseph's chest and didn't even notice.
The lifeless eye sockets stared up at them. The log continued to swirl around in the pool and the fish got on with their meal.
Upstream, a few days prior
Rick bit his lip and trembled. He wouldn't cry. Not in front of David and Harvey. He could cry later, but seeing as how they were all roommates, he'd have to go up into the mountains by himself. He let his fingers brush against Trousers' scales. They felt as icy as the water. "Goodbye, buddy."
He stuck the match. The log, doused in gasoline and supported on either side by two attached branches, lit up against the cloudy afternoon sky. With his boot, he nudged the little Viking funeral raft into the stream. David and Harvey stepped up to the edge of the water, and they all watched the fire.
He'd been one of 18 baby rattlesnakes they'd brought back to their apartment in a pillowcase. The pick had been good that season. Of course, they could only find 17 of them when they went to put them back. For three days...
They'd finally discovered him in a pair of trousers when Harvey went to put them on. So, the snake was named. And also, 20 year old college boys couldn't resist that particular joke.
He'd never threatened a person, and lived a relaxed life of hunting down feeder rats in the apartment. What more could an animal ask for? And now, it was time to let him go.
Rick, David and Harvey drifted a little closer together as they watched their pet sail on into the afterlife.
Still in sight, they watched as one of the small supports to the funeral log burned through, and the entire contraption flipped upside down into the river. The smoke and steam were visible for just a heartbeat, and then, he was gone.
Which was real? Upstream.
Moral: Don't judge a burned, dead rattlesnake tied to a log in a river. He may have just had a Viking funeral.
Yes, that really happened.
Author's note: I really have no idea if there is a snake afterlife, but if there is a snake heaven, I bet it also doubles as furry critter hell.
No comments:
Post a Comment